To find out where we will be for the next 3+ years of our lives!
I can't really even begin to tell you how I feel. It's very ... surreal I guess. I've worked hard in high school to get to college. I worked hard in college to get into medical school. I worked really hard in medical school to be able to match into a good residency. Now, next Friday all that work will come to a culmination and I'll find out what that residency program is!
I'm sure it will be a relief, as I'm obviously a bit nervous. I know I would be happy at any of the five places I ranked on my list, so there's really no need to be nervous at all. I guess I feel a mixture of happiness, sadness, and nervousness all at the same time.
Happiness because, like I said, I've worked hard for this moment, and when I open that envelope Friday I know it will be for exactly where God wants us to be and where He has a great future planned for us. I trust in that. It will also be a happy moment because I will be there with my wonderful husband, our families, and all my medical school classmates who will be celebrating at the same time. If it wasn't for all of them, I'm not sure I would have made it through this process.
Sadness because all those friends sitting around us will be opening envelopes for different places. Most of us will be moving away to different parts of the country. I guess when you undertake something as stressful as medical school, you really get close with people you share the experience with. You complain, laugh, cry, and stay up lots of late nights together. I came to medical school not knowing anyone, and will be leaving with lots of great friends (6 of which were in our wedding)! Not to mention the precious friends we have made at our church/small group. They are wonderful and it's been such a blessing to have Christian "couple" friends while we've been here. Also we'll likely be moving a bit farther from family than we are now. While it's nice to have a bit of a "buffer zone" when you're still newly married, neither of us want to stray too far from our families. I don't think our mothers would let us, anyway! And finally, this might be silly, but I'm really sad about leaving our house. This quaint condo on the bay was our first home together. We've hosted many a brunch and tacky Christmas party in these walls. Right when we got engaged Stuart painted a cute wooden sign that says "Stu + Kacie's Bay House" and hung it on our back porch. I think I'll cherish that forever.
Finally, nervousness. I know I shouldn't be nervous, because God is always in control. But, holy cow, I'm going to be a doctor in four months! When did that happen?! I keep having these mini panic attacks when I remember that I will be responsible for peoples' LIVES in JULY! I know I've learned a lot these four years, but I definitely don't know enough yet to do that!! It will be trial by fire for the next three years, but just like medical school, I know I will make it through and be better for it!
Stay tuned for Friday's results! And keep those prayers coming!
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